love, Personal, Writing

Random Things I Think During a Conversation With My Crush

  1. Why are you so cute?
  2. Those dimples. Don’t smile at me because I’ll blush.
  3. I forgot to wear mascara today.
  4. It doesn’t really matter that I forgot because I have on my glasses. You can’t see my eyes. Would it be very obvious if I were to take off the glasses and bat my eyelashes at you?  They’re pretty long even without mascara.  My eyes are among my better features. Yes. I’ll take the glasses off.
  5. Great, now you think I have something in my eyes. Yes, I do. My eyes are clouded by visions of that smile.
  6. Note to self: suck in your gut.
  7. Are you flirting with me? I can’t tell.
  8. Am I flirting with you?  I don’t think so.  I’m just talking to you. Because, you know, I don’t date men like you. I just think you’re so. freaking. cute.
  9. You just sold me two boxes of your daughter’s Girl Scout cookies. You are NOT flirting with me. You just want my money.
  10. But then I complained that I didn’t need two boxes, what I need is to go to the gym and you looked directly at my hips and said, “I don’t see what for.”  That’s kinda flirty, right?
  11. I think I forgot how to flirt. This is a sad state of affairs. I once went to a flirting workshop with Johara and I already knew every tip that came out of the speaker’s mouth. What happened?
  12. Okay, let me think.  I’ll mirror you. You smile and show your dimples, I’ll smile and show my…dimple.
  13. How did I end up with only one dimple? It’s so weird. I’m so asymmetrical.  This is why I’m not exactly pretty. Attractive, yes, but pretty, no.  Don’t look at my left cheek, there’s nothing there but acne scars.
  14. That reminds me. I need a peel. Must call dermatologist ASAP.
  15. You play with your pen, then turn to face me.  Your belly button is pointed directly toward mine.
  16. That’s a good sign.  That’s a good sign!
  17. I love the way that sweater drapes over your biceps.  You’ve lost some weight and you look amazing.
  18. I also love that you always joke about how smart I am. It makes it seem like you are somehow in awe of me.
  19. I really want to touch you right now. Your hand is so close to me.  I could laugh, hard, and my hand could land on yours, lightly. But that would be too much, I think.
  20. An interruption.  We’ll continue this another day. Yes. Smile at me again.  Thank you.

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