Personal

30

I’ve been 30 for seven days now.

I’m still not over the fact that “thirty” sounds OLD.

I know, as a rational, intelligent human being, that I am not old.

It just sounds old.

I feel a lot of responsibility. Which, obviously, I’ve always had. Because I’m an adult. I have been for a while.

It just reminds me of one of my favorite quotes from “Giovanni’s Room,” by James Baldwin:

“Confusion is a luxury which only the very, very young can possibly afford and you are not that young anymore.”

I’m 30. Thirty is young. But not that young.

I’m afraid of what that means.  If I can no longer afford the luxury of confusion, what are those things that I must do to create the life I want to live?

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